Just One More Fan

Every so often, maybe once or twice a year, I hear God calling me out. Of course, I believe He is constantly calling or speaking to me but somehow I miss his voice most of the time. When this happens, I get really passionate about Him and my life. I start reading books on apologetics, theology, Christian philosophy, and the Bible. I start seeing God in people, places and things I never saw Him in before. I become acutely aware of my sin and I marvel at His grace. How does He do that? How does He forgive me after all I do all the while ignoring Him. I start writing about Him, talking about Him, I even start to mean the songs I sing for and about Him. I start loving people I never even noticed before. I start thinking about tithing, serving, and sharing my faith with the world around me in some tangible/meaningful way. I start wondering what He really wants from my life. It’s a little overwhelming. I work myself into a fever. And then it happens, (you know what’s coming don’t you) nothing, nothing, that’s what happens. I crash and burn and turn into a big heaping pile of apathy. I lose it, the fire, the enthusiasm, the vim and the vigor. Why? Why? What about personal commitment? What about perseverance? What about “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me”? Am I forever relegated to a life of spiritual ADD?

I think, for me, knowing Jesus has been largely an intellectual pursuit. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have no emotional investment, I do, but I analyze and reason myself to Jesus more than I engage Him intimately. I am essentially a fan. Yeah, I am a fan of Jesus. I read His blog to see what He’s thinking about, I watch His segment on ET to find out what he has been wearing and what whether or not He’s been in rehab recently. I watch Him on the Barbara Walters special and wait with baited breath for that one deep, probing question. You know the one that’s going to bring Him to tears. I buy bumper stickers with His name or something cleverly lifted from scripture written on them. I buy one of those “fishy” symbols to put on my car. I buy books that reduce His words to a seven, ten, or twelve step program to “personal, spiritual, health and/or financial” fulfillment. I add Him to my Myspace page and watch the “Sermon on the Mount” on Youtube. I vote republican no matter what because everyone knows that Jesus is a republican. If I am feeling particularly “spirit-filled” I’ll boycott something, you know like the newest children’s book that’s not a sophisticated allegory for all things “christian”. I could go on and on with examples “Fan–atism” but I won’t. Where does this leave me? Why, with more questions of course.

What if, instead of learning more “about” Jesus, I actually spent more time “with” Him? What if I read His words and obeyed instead of searching for theological or philosophical insight? What if I became a disciple instead of a fan? What does that look like? What would this cost me?

Luke 14:25-35 (The Message)
Figure the Cost
25-27One day when large groups of people were walking along with him, Jesus turned and told them, "Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one's own self!—can't be my disciple. Anyone who won't shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can't be my disciple.
28-30"Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn't first sit down and figure the cost so you'll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you're going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: 'He started something he couldn't finish.'
31-32"Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can't, won't he send an emissary and work out a truce?
33"Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple.
34"Salt is excellent. But if the salt goes flat, it's useless, good for nothing.
"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

Am I listening? Is this what Jesus has been trying to tell me all along?

I think I’ll take a walk and invite Jesus to come along. Wait, He has already sent the invitation to follow Him. I guess I should just do that.

Guest Blogger: Jeff Stamey